as decide by me….
Shotput (as in ‘who i would like to shoot the most’)
Gold: FRANCE
Silver: SPAIN
Bronze: tied - GERMANY and GREAT BRITAIN
The French have to be some of the noisiest people I have ever come across, and not just when they are drunk…it’s all the time. Even in normal conversation.The kids sing songs walking down the street. The parents holler at the children (albeit in a pretty language) while they are in the swimming pool. They walk past my bedroom window in the middle of the night and chat as if they’re in the middle of a busy market. Pretty and in fashion they may be, but they’re more fishwife than a cockney.
As for the Spanish, well, they just like a good old gesticulating chatter and I can get onboard with that a little bit more.
100 meter dash (as in Supermarket Sweep)
Gold: HOLLAND
Silver: GERMANY
Bronze: GREAT BRITAIN
I’m not sure what it is about Dutch people, but can anyone enlighten me as to what makes them so messy? When they come in the shop, they‘re all over it. Everything comes off the shelves, all of the scarves get unfolded, everything gets chucked around so much that after they leave in their own little whirlwind (they never buy anything), I have to spend 20 minutes clearing up!
Tennis (as in who’d get bashed round the face with a racket)
Gold: tied FRANCE and GREAT BRITAIN
Silver: GERMANY
Bronze: Shoppers of the world
Some people are just plain rude. And by rude, I mean they ignore you when you speak to them. When customers enter the shop, I say hello…. with most French people, this is met with them simply looking the other way. A ”Can I help you?” is met with either silence or when I then try in Spanish (because let’s face it, you can’t tell where someone is from sometimes just by looking at them) it’s met with simply ‘No Spanish, French”…so then i switch to French, just to piss them off, and they will most likely ignore me again.
The British are right up there just for being so unbelievable chavvy.
Hurdles (as in there’s major one I can’t get over)
Gold: GERMANY
Silver: GREAT BRITAIN
Bronze: No one comes close enough
The British had to be second just because they can be so incredibly dim when speaking to f-o-r-e-i-g-n-e-r-s, you know IF YOU SPEAK LOUDER, THEY WILL UNDERSTAND. Gold has to go to Germany though. I speak Spanish and French to a degree, which i think is pretty ok, after all, i’m not sure anyone should expect a shop assistant to speak all of the languages in the world, but the Germans do.
When it becomes clear that I can’t speak German, they either a) get annoyed and stomp off or b) still carry on chattering away in German, asking for this and that, perhaps expecting that if they carry on talking, subtitles will appear. It’s very strange. They’re not rude with it, maybe they just think it’s easy to work out what they’re saying….well, it’s not!
Swimming (as in ducks out of water)
Gold: CHINA
Silver: GREAT BRITAIN
Bronze: HOLLAND
It’s unexpected, by me anyway, and they don’t outnumber the British, but there are a lot of Chinese people here. Not only many Chinese restaurants, but during the cooler months, a hell of a lot of them wander along the beach offering ‘massage’. Apparently they are very good.
Football (as in WAGS and riches)
Gold: IRELAND
Silver: GERMANY
Bronze: IRELAND again
The Irish seem to have a hell of a lot of disposable income. There’s not only a big Irish expat community out here, but they come over in their masses for weddings….and they spend their money like it’s going out of fashion! Where do they get it all from?
German customers also seem to spend without thinking….unlike the Spanish and British who are always loathed to part with their money and can be heard (very much not whispering in that way we have) ‘SIXTY EUROS? THAT’S GOT TO BE FOR THE WHOLE OUTFIT, SURELY?!?!’
I think that’s Germany with the most medals there, but really the French top it all with their win in the Shotput…. because I just can’t get over people who have no sense of just how rude they are being and how their actions are affecting the people around them. Put a sock in it for goodness sake, at least you can forgive the British for being loud, they’re drunken yobs…what’s their excuse, is France really so loud that they usually have to shout to be heard over the noise?!
Can I get thrown out of Spain for crimes against tourists? Ah, I should think not, the Spanish are supposedly racist aren’t they? Hopefully that means they won’t mind me being a little Xenophobic…. after all, there’s crimes going on here….crimes against my ear drums
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